Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
