this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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