I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize