whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
