mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize