we have officially lost it.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
