And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If I die, sorry about rent.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
