just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
