I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
