just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
be right there i have to get my cape
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
