My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The Olympian is in my bed
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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