i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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