brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
