Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
