but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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