Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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