haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
