walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize