soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
