you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
