Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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