last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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