you're like a bully in the Christmas story
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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