When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
