So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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