the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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