im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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