And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
