i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wish you could order shots online.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
