check it out our google latitudes are spooning
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Dicks are not precious.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
