Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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