I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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