Jerry, you need to find god
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
