Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
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