I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
