Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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