I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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