Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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