I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
