There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
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