Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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