Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
