i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize