i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
