I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
