Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
