I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
