there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
As shirtless as possible
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
