Soap is not a condiment
I don't think brook has ever known best
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
