Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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