I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I wannas sexs uuuuu
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize