White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
