i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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