If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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