Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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