I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
