Apparently you make a good broom.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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