woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
