Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
