I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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