Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
